FROM THE DIRECTOR'S DESK Self-Esteem - the Phantom Angel
Since the liberated Vietnam War era, child
development specialists and mental health
professionals have touted the importance
of a healthy self-esteem (SE). The onset
of the baby boomer genera-tion accelerated
'it'. Now, we talk about SE in similar reverence
as the old Freudian 'ego' and 'super-ego',
a life in itself that is capable of doing
good or bad deeds and needs to be stroked
and nurtured.
Further extrapolation from this elusive concept
gives us the anti-matter of SE: the feared
Low Self-Esteem, which is supposedly responsible
for many emotional/ behavioral problems.
We target 'it' as the culprit for acting
out, for depression, for anti-social behavior,
and for many learning and school problems.
Naturally, improving SE becomes the solu-tion.
This emphasis of SE led to the creation of
the California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem
and Personal and Social Responsibility in
1986 by the California Legislature. It conducted
a three-year study of the topic, at taxpayers'
expense. Self-Esteem movement has now almost
become an institution among therapists, child
psycho-logists, educa-tors, self-help books
publi-shers, and parents. We even have a
National Association for Self-Esteem, headquartered
at, of all places, Normal, Illinois.
Yet history and careful research of the topic
tell us otherwise. Previous generations of
children seemed to have done fine or better
without ever thinking of high or low SE.
We used to look at the cause of emotional/
behavioral malice much more straightfor-wardly
without resorting to the deep-seeded cause
of a poor SE. Children grew up with fewer
excuses for misbehaving, and more humble
("less assertive" and "less
secure" in modern day parlance). Nowadays,
we gingerly reason with our kids so as not
to hurt their SE, and we praise our kids
any chance we have so as to build up their
SE.
We used to be able to tell our kids straight
what was wrong with them, but now we tell
children to "believe in themselves"
and to think "any-thing is possible
as long as they have the will to want it."
And the worse sin we tell them? "Give
up."
But if we look more critically, we found
no evidence that supports the idea of the
elusive SE being the cause of human good
or ills. Instead, SE is just like the old
Freudian Id and Libido, illusive concepts
invented to explain human emotions. Indeed,
the culling of SE often breeds unrealistic
confidence and ready defiance in children.
Many high SE children learn to think that
they are never wrong. They become quick to
excuse themselves for shortcomings, and resist
adult authorities. I work with many students
who have high regards for themselves and
their life style while failing school miserably.
On the other hand, I have students who constantly
wonder if their teachers like them or if
they will do well in their next exam but
are in reality straight 'A' students.
Likewise, if we look at adults, we see no
shortage of highly confident, self-aggrandizing
criminals and toughs, and plenty of self-doubting
famous performers and scientists.
What am I saying? There are no correlations
between low SE and failures, and between
high SE and happiness. Even the normally
liberal New York Times observed: "D"
students, it turns out, think as highly of
themselves as valedictorians, and serial
rapists are no more likely to ooze with insecurities
than doctors or bank managers. Now that's
pertinent observations!
Nobody should argue against having a hopeful,
positive view of one's own actions and personality.
It might help a person to persist in adversities
or facilitates achievement. But too much
emphasis of it allows excuses or unrealistic
confidence in oneself and could actually
deter change for the better. It's time we
realize that SE in itself is not the panacea
for im-provement. Knowledge, skills, discipline,
as well as a realistic understanding of limitations
are the real ingredients for positive changes.
As Dr. Roy F. Baumeister of Case Western
Reserve University puts it, "I think
we had a great deal of optimism that high
self-esteem would cause all sorts of positive
consequences, and that if we raised self-esteem
people would do better in life. Mostly, the
data have not borne that out."
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